Progression II

13 October 2015

Outline- Don’t Raise Boys to be Men

Specific Purpose Statement: The idea that life is a contest of Men versus Women is keeping both men and women from breaking through stereotypes and stigmas placed on them by the patriarchal values of our society.

Audience: A reasonable, educated reader

Working Thesis Statement: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Introduction:

I.                   Who feels more pain: Men or Women?

II.                Articles and videos can be found all over the internet, comparing and contrasting the sexes. Who feels more pain? Who can do this better? Who has more hardships in life? There is one major issue with all of these articles and blogposts and buzzfeed videos—they’re pitting the sexes against each other, thus alienating each side from one another, and turning every issue into a competition. A question up for debate a lot recently has been “Who has it worse? Men? Or Women?” and it’s actually quite detrimental. The United States of America lives under a patriarchal society and rules with an iron fist called Toxic Masculinity and it hurts both men and women every day.

III.             In today’s society, toxic masculinity is a detrimental effect of patriarchal society that enforces certain ideals into men’s minds, causing them to have a warped emotions and mental illnesses and lash out against women when the ideal is threatened.

Body:

I.                   Unfortunately, toxic masculinity starts young.

A.    Parents immediately places ideas of how boys and girls are different from the moment they see a baby.

                                                              i.      Studies have shown that at very young ages, little boys are actually “more sensitive and expressive than little girls,… [crying] more easily, [seeming] more easily frustrated, [and appearing] more upset when a caregiver leaves the room” (Holloway)

                                                            ii.      In fact, 204 adults were shown a video of a baby crying “and given different information about” the gender, they called the “female” scared and the “male” angry (Holloway).

B.     Boys are not given the same attention as girls, because parents see them as stronger, resulting from the projected masculinity.

                                                              i.      Don McPherson, former NFL quarterback and feminist, observed "We don't raise boys to be men. We raise them not to be women, or gay men” (Friedman).

                                                            ii.      At birth boys are treated as if their needs are not as urgent, and receive less comfort and nurture (Holloway).

Transition: This enforcement of boys being stronger and needing less help translates into adulthood.

II.                The Patriarchy plays a huge part in a male’s toxic masculinity.

A.    Men have to battle everyday with the identity crisis of being a masculine man.

                                                              i.      Where society requires women “be thin, beautiful, accommodating, and some unattainable balance of virginal and fuckable, social constructions of masculinity demand that men constantly prove and re-prove the very fact that they are, well, men” (Holloway).

                                                            ii.      A University of Washington study found that men who were made to believe that their manliness was lacking by telling them their handgrip strength test score was closer to the average woman’s than man’s and were then told to fill out a form about themselves would overcompensate by lying about height. When men were given fake scores of 23 out of 100 versus 73 on a masculinity test were 72 was the average, they were more likely to opt out of using any kind of womanly products offered to them afterwards as compensation ( Kutner).

B.     These identity issues lead to health issues.

                                                              i.      The Centers for Disease Control claims that “men are more likely to drink to excess than women,… boys are more likely to have used drugs by the age of 12,… [and] American men are more likely to kill… and be killed” (Holloway).

                                                            ii.      Also, men are two times more likely to develop a rage disorder (Holloway).

Transition: Theses statistics are upsetting and they have real-world results on people all across the country.

III.             Examples of the disastrous results of hyper masculinity can be found in America today.

A.    Rape is a large identifier of an area with hyper masculinity.

                                                              i.      Toxic masculinity played a huge role in the Steubenville rape case; the boys clearly believe that their actions made them more “powerful and cool” and that sexually abusing a helpless girl could not possibly result in consequences (Friedman).

                                                            ii.      Raping is seen as an action of power over another being, and many cases of men being raped were done “by other men with the intention of ‘feminizing’” him (Friedman).

                                                          iii.      The Steubenville rape was a result of hyper masculinity taking power from women to be superior and dominant so men can be happy “deliberately undermining women’s power” (Friedman).

B.     One way to clearly see the effect of toxic masculinity is through the police force; being a policeman is not only considered a man’s job, it’s a workplace environment that emphasizes and encourages violence.

                                                              i.      Two studies have found that at least 40 percent of families with police members experience domestic violence, four times more than the 10 percent of families nationally (Friedersdorf)

                                                            ii.      Police raise an even greater danger to their families they hurt because they’re given a lethal weapon, trained to stalk people without their knowledge and controls cases being filed for abused against domestic abusers” (Friedersdorf).

Transition: Even though this toxic violence can be seen everywhere, there are ways to fix the issue.

IV.             These ideas of violence are deeply rooted in the identities of men, but there are solutions.

A.    The lashing out of men stemming from not feeling masculine enough has a direct and immediate effect on women.

                                                              i.      Men who had baby faces were more likely to compensate with “assertive and hostile personalities and commit crimes than their more chiseled counterparts.” The men who were made to believe they scored low on masculinity tests were more often acting aggressively, harassing women, and belittling other men (Kutner).

                                                            ii.      Furthermore, unemployed men were more violent towards women, and men who made less money than their wife or girlfriend were “less willing to share in housework duties” (Kutner).

B.     Men are slowly becoming more knowledgeable about the topics covered in feminism, and it is showing.

                                                              i.      Jess Zimmerman, journalist for the US Guardian, created steps that men follow on the path to growing a social conscience.

1.      “Sexism is a fake idea invented by feminists

2.      Sexism happens, but the effect of “reverse sexism” on men is as bad or worse

3.      Sexism happens, but the important part is that I personally am not sexist

4.      Sexism happens, and I benefit from that whether or not I personally am sexist

5.      Sexism happens, I benefit from it, I am unavoidably sexist sometimes because I was socialized that way, and if I want to be anti-sexist I have to be actively working against that socialization” (Zimmerman).

                                                            ii.      People are steadily shifting their views and soon “ideas like ‘she was asking for it’ or ‘don’t be a pussy’” will be obsolete and men grasping those ideals “will find themselves isolated, facing serious social and legal consequences” (Friedman).

Transition: If hyper masculinity declined in popularity then men wouldn’t have to be so conscious of their likes and how people view them, and women wouldn’t be seen as so inferior.

       I.            Toxic and hyper masculinity are huge facets of life in the US.

    II.            Men are forced to grow up with less care and ability to show emotion, resulting in violence and illnesses. Compensation to prove masculinity is keeping men from doing things they care for and getting things they like in order to not look like the supposedly inferior women.

 III.            Toxic masculinity leaves a lot to be desired and it’s a wonder that it lasted this long.

Works Cited

Friedersdorf, Conor. "Police Have a Much Bigger Domestic-Abuse Problem Than the NFL Does." The Atlantic. Atlantic Media Company, 19 Sept. 2014. Web. 13 Oct. 2015.

Friedman, Jaclyn. "Toxic Masculinity." The American Prospect. The American Prospect, 13 Mar. 2013. Web. 13 Oct. 2015.

Holloway, Kali. "Toxic Masculinity Is Killing Men: The Roots of Male Trauma." Saloncom RSS. Salon Media Group, 12 June 2015. Web. 13 Oct. 2015.

Kutner, Jenny. "Study: Men Overcompensate in Gross Ways When Their Masculinity Is Threatened." Saloncom RSS. Salon Media Group, 24 June 2015. Web. 13 Oct. 2015.

Zimmerman, Jess. "Not All Men: A Brief History of Every Dude's Favorite Argument." Time. Time, 28 Apr. 2014. Web. 13 Oct. 2015.